上课

好久好久都没写了。。。。算是好事吧因为我都只会写我的烦恼和困扰。。。。。。。哈哈
没错，我现在真的真的很烦啊！！！！！！！！！！

我只不过想安静的上一堂课而已，为什么你就那么绝一定要我报名呢？？？？？难道我不报名就代表我不会认真地听你的课吗？？？？？？如果我不想学的话，我就不会浪费我的时间去顶你的课啦！！！！！！！！！！！

我就是不要报名因为想留到我真的读上博士学位才拿你这堂课。看来那时候我只好选别的课咯。。。。。。。

好久没写了~~~~心里有好多好多话想说却不知要从哪里说起啊~~~~~

时间过得特别快，眨下眼就过了半年了，而我在两天前也过了二十四岁生日了。有一种很复杂的感觉哦~~~~~~haizz~~~~~~

很想说出来但又不想让别人知道因为......................ARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我到底怎么了呢？？？？？？？真的好想好想大哭一场呢!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

看着别人过着幸福美满生活时，真的有点冲动就这样找个人嫁了就算，最好嫁个有钱又很好的男人。做个少奶奶，什么都不用想，不用做。

Haizz~~~~~~想见的人却见不到，不想见的人却自动找上门。真的烦死我了。

现在的我不知道怎么了，好像越变越小气那样。有时候，为了些小事情都会生气但不至于骂人，只气在心里，弄得自己心情不好。

有时候在想不知道自己可以忍到什么时候。要是忍不住了又会怎样了呢？做傻事吗？哈哈........因该不会吧？？？我的思想还很清醒，绝对做不下手。

我想要放手可以吗？？？？?放弃所有的一切可以吗？？？？？只过这无忧无虑的生活可以吗？？？？？什么都不做，想睡就睡，想吃就吃，想玩就玩又可以吗？？？？？

哈哈..............看来我真的语无伦次了~~~~~就知道是不可能的，却还在想!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

最熟悉的陌生人

从一开始认识你到现在已经四年了。可是对你的熟悉却越来越模糊。在别人的眼中你永远都是个大好人，可是你本身真的是这样吗？以前的我也认为你人很好，有求于你，你一定会帮。可是，就因为你伤害过我，让我如此的伤心，却让我觉得你的好心是假的，是做来好让别人都认为你是个大好人。如果当初你没有那么对我的话，也许我也不会那样看你。如果说我很你的话，我并没有。我只不过是看不过你那么假的行为。为什么你可以那么嬗变？那么不公平？男女真的有差别吗？已你的职位，为什么你要那样对我们呢？你不觉得你很不公平吗？

D.I.E

I just want to bang my head on wall and will never wake up again at this moment!!!!!!! I don't know what happened to me, I just can't stand it anymore now. Everthing seems against me. My memory are getting from bad to worse. Even a small thing can't remember. I'm really afraid now, afraid that the bad days three years and six months ago will repeat again now. I'm going to have exam tomorrow and will end this semester three weeks from now. Yet, my assignments are still there, untouched!!!!!!!

NO words can express my feelings right now, it's mixed:

I cant concentrate in what I wanted to do. Wanted to cry, cry out all my sadness and worries, but no tears drop...............

Wanted to shout, but can't because in a public lab.............

Wanted to chat with someone really close but everyone seems busy with own work........

HOW?????????????????

WHAT CAN I DO NOW???????

MIss you

I think I still miss you..........After not meeting each other for 4 years+, I still miss you........

I do not know why, but you are:

The one whom I missed
The one whom I wanted to meet
The one whom I care now

Really wanted to know:

How are you right now???
What are you doing???
You still remember me???


When I think back, I really enjoy our school time:

The time when we meet, study and hang around together
Then time when we had our recess together under the tree

我到底怎么了？？？？？？要怎么样才能熬过这个学期呢？？？？？？我现在真回想起我是怎么度过上个学期的呢？？？？？？？？？？？

说很难读，并不难。。。。。说容易，也不容易。。。。。。到底是怎么回事呢？？？？？

我知道问题出现在那里，可是就是不知道该如何去解决。。。。。。怎么办？？？？？已经第七个学期了。。。。。。。

我寂寞寂寞就好

一个小时之前没电来.........自己一个人在房间的我觉得很寂寞.................想做东西也做不到，想找个人来谈天，身边又没有人...................看着在燃烧着的蜡烛，就开始想:"人，一辈子都不能够只靠自己，有时候真的很需要朋友的帮忙和支持"........................就好像当时的我，真的很希望身边有个朋友..........................或许，我太想念旧宿舍了吧...............因为在那里，我就不怕寂寞!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我怀念的

我好怀念
我的旧宿舍，
那间很有厉史性的宿舍。

我好怀念
我旧宿舍外的那座桥，
那座没有楼梯的拱桥。

我好怀念
我旧宿舍里的乌龟池，
那个我们常常一起集合的乌龟池。

我好怀念
我旧宿舍里的羽球场，
那个我们只有晚上会在那里打羽球的羽球场。

我好怀念
我旧宿舍里的篮球场，
那个我们会用来镇寿星公或寿星婆的篮球场。

我好怀念
我的旧室友，
那位我们可以一起谈心事的室友。

我好怀念
我的旧房间，
那间我住了三年的旧房间。

我好怀念
我在旧宿舍的生活，
那个过这很忙碌的生活。

我好怀念
我在旧宿舍的时刻，
那些现在都不会再有的时刻。

Stressful Semester

Today is only my second class for this semester and I already feel hard to survive. How can I complete this semester peacefully and at the same time achieve my target of getting excellent result???????????????

Is not that the subject is tough or what. It's the stress that I feel especially when I'm in a class with more knowledgeable and more experience people.............Can u imagine in the same class with people a level higher than you (PhD), that is much senior than you (age 30 plus) , attended degree and/master overseas previously and some of them even working people as lecturers in some other universities????????

Anyway, there are good side of having "those" kind of people in a class where I can learn from them...........Here, I would like to mention two new classmates that I've known today...........

First is Wilson who is a lecturer at Taylor's. When you heard that he is a lecturer, you must be thinking this is a serious man.......Don't play play with him..........Well, he's not at all and you can't even think that he is a lecturer. With his young looking face that does not suit his age, people just think that he's a student at Taylor's during their Open Day. Besides that, he can just chat with us as if he is as our age and share his stories with us, to say, friendly. Or maybe he is a lecturer, so he understand that lecturer wants feed back from the class and he can just voice out his opinion as he like............A great friend to be........

Second is Kesh who is also a lecturer but in UiTM. Well, he is kinda like Wilson, a very friendly person. To me, the first moment I saw Wilson and Kesh, I thought they were good friend that came to study together. In fact, they just knew each other a little bit earlier before me. As they sat together, they can just jokes and talk as if they were good friends and does not looks like just know each other..........Another great friend.......

Well, I'll have another class tonight...........But really hope that it is not as stress as previous.....I mean I prefer in the same class with people same level as me..........

One day, if I am blind.......

To all of us, the lucky one with perfect visionary, this world is so colourful that everything was so brilliantly decorated.........Whereby, to those blind people, their world is only black in colour..........

I was in bus just now having a very blur vision outside the window due to the cold condition in the bus as compare to outside..........The feeling was so unsecured where everything outside are hardly to be seen.............Now, with my eye condition, I really wonder what would happen if I am really BLIND..............

I really admire those people with vision problem. They are so strong and able to live even though they are not perfect...........

Now, I would like to share a real live story from a local program "Finding Angels".........
There is a male around 25 years old who is currently studying Ph. D in a local University. He is just like any other student who pursues his studies and he wants to be a well known profesor. Actually, he is not that perfect. One of his eye is already blind and another only left 40% of vision. You see what I mean? With only one eye of 40% vision, this man is so great that he still continue his ambition and study. There is nothing that he can do with his eyes and yet, he sis till studying just like any other student, studying the same book without any specialties for him. Same goes to any other handicapped, either they had lost their arms, legs or any part of their bodies, they still can continue their life just like a normal human.............

We must learn their strong spirit..........Do not take everything for granted but to appreciate what we are and how we look like..........Remember that there are many people who are more unlucky than us............

三个愿望

还记得我之前那三个愿望吗？第一个已经知道结果了.................

可惜，愿望不成真。成绩达不到自己的目标。或许是把目标放得太高吧，所以就没办法得到咯............

现在还等着另外两个目标的结果.............................希望不会令我失望......................